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== Regarding Selcoms ==
{{enclose|align=left|<poem>
Welcome to the Selcom Shop poyooo!
What's that? You're asking what a Selcom is? Come on, guest, you come to a Selcom Shop and start asking what a Selcom is? Who are you, Kai*** Yuuzan poyoooooooo?!!!
Umm, anyway, sir! A Selcom is the ultimate in wearable technology! It's a system that places a smartphone directly in your brain poyo!
To start, valued customer, please attach this Selcom Sheet to the underside of your left upper arm poyo.
Why your left upper arm, you ask? ............
I don't know that poyoooo!! All those brilliant researchers and engineers said to stick it there poyoooo!! Don't ask me poyooooooo!!
Okay, did you stick it on poyo? How do you feel? Can you see the display inside your brain poyo? If you're one of those modern kids with a high P3 level, you should see a fresh image right away poyo.
If you can't see it at all, or if it's fuzzy and you can't see it too well, I recommend adjusting your Internal 8MS, undergo PP training, or else give it up already poyooo!
Just kidding poyo. I recommend our beginner's course called Easy PP Training for Selcom poyo! Try taking that if you suck poyo!
Now then, if you can see an image, you just need to answer some questions with your mental tablet poyo!
You can't use your mental tablet well?! For customers like you, I recommend our beginner's course called Mental Tablet Training poyo!
Were you able to fill it in poyo? Then congratulations! Welcome to the world of Selcom poyo!
Now, you can browse the whole world's internet inside your head, and send and receive messages poyo!!
And you can install whatever apps you want, from apps that can save anything you see with the naked eye as an image, to facial recognition apps, to game apps and video search apps poyo! However, running apps simultaneously will put stress on your brain, so I recommend starting slow poyooo.
Also! With your plan, you get the communication app "Keropoyo" pre-installed poyo! No matter how much you hate me, I can't be erased, so sorry about that poyo! *keeero*kero*kero*kero*!
Okonogi: "This Selcom stuff is all about dependence! It's the defeat of humanity, you fools!"
Miyao: "Here comes Okonogi's Selcom allergy again..."
Chloe: "He says that, but he's using it too. It's not fair...＞＜"
Okonogi: "The human brain is a muscle! It gets stronger the more you use it, and weaker the more dependent you are! You keep looking everything up on the net, saving it as data without trying to memorize it! Keep that up, and you'll become a Selcom human!"
Okonogi: "You Selcom brats, if your Selcom breaks down, what would you even be able to do, until you got to a Selcom Shop to get it fixed?! You'd get stuck trying to diddle yourself while you piddle yourself!! Don't let your brain slack off!! Brains are all about guts!! Learn with your brain, with your body! Muscles muscles, /
brains brains!!"
Miyao: "I don't even know what he's saying anymore..."
Chloe: "Ahahaha... But I understand what he's trying to say. A Selcom isn't something people are born with. His point is that, if we rely on it too much, then what good are we as humans...?"
Miyao: "Well, I'm not sure that's much of a problem in the AOU, where humans are born in electric incubators."
Chloe: "After all, humans are animals that can't live without clothing..."
Okonogi: "This era takes memorization too lightly! In my day, there was no Selcom! When we memorized stuff, all we had to rely on was our guts! Our multiplication tables, historical timelines, the periodic table, the value of pi! But when you learn something with guts, you'll never forget it!! I still know pi to 30 digits even without a Selcom!! 3.14159265359......"
Miyao: "Lame, he got the 11th place after the decimal wrong... And anyway, memorization is only one of the brain's powers, right? If the last generation's education system gave out grades for that one ability alone, isn't that pretty pathetic?"
The appearance of Selcom brought an end to the idea of education through memorization.
However, there were still many adults who incorrectly assumed that toiling to memorize things was the same as studying...
People who suffer have the bad habit of wanting to make the next generation suffer the same way. And in particular, people who work extremely hard for relatively little benefit tend to assume that suffering is the most essential part of training.
Older people like that must have hated Selcom technology quite a lot...
Chloe: "Selcom fundamentally destroyed the education system's purpose and significance... But I understand what the Instructor is trying to say."
Chloe: "We are humans, after all. ...I think it's wrong to take the power of life lightly."
Miyao: "...The power...of life."
Miyao: "Well, it's true that only humans can perform a Dreissig Conversion."
Chloe: "That's right. We're only able to become Gauntlet Knights because we're humans, right?"
Spiritium is the power source of this new era, extracted from the planet.
And the most efficient method of transforming it into energy...is the Dreissig Conversion.
Only humans could do that. Robots and drones couldn't.
So, the power of the Gauntlet Knights...was the power of life.
...I'm pretty sure Dad said something like that.
What do you know, that's pretty cool...
Miyao: "So, you shouldn't take the power of life lightly, huh? ...That's seriously cool, Chloe."
Chloe: "Huh? Th-Thank you very much...!"
Search suggestions activated poyo!
Miyao: "Huh? What's this? I just got a search suggestion."
Could it be that the line you're looking for is "Don't you dare take the power of life lightly!" poyo?!
Miyao: "Hmm? That sounds pretty close? Is that from something?"
It is poyo!! With 98% confidence, the source of that line has been identified as the adult women's comi-
Chloe: "Don't you dare search for stuff on your own, you shitty frooooooog, karate chooooooooop＞＜"
Miyao: "...D-Did I really do something so bad...that it deserved...two karate chops......"
Your Selcom has encountered an error poyo?! I suggest you reboot poyooo, *croak*croak*
Chloe: "...Sorry, Miyao... You only have that Outie Frog to blame. Amen."
Okonogi: "......Ch-"
Chloe: "Lo...?"
Okonogi: "Eeeeeeeeeeee!!! What do you think you're doing while someone's lecturing youuuuuuuuuuuu?!!! Time for a stunning Okonogi divine retribution spirit-raising chooooooooop!!!"
Chloe: "Aiiieeeeeeeeeeee...!!!"
</poem>}}
 
== The Okonogi Crappy Collage Grand Prix ==
Line 71 ⟶ 130:
Zzdddgggsshabwagoooooon.
A blow more than powerful enough to split the heavens and the earth was dealt upon the top of Chloe's head...
Welcome to the Selcom Shop poyooo!
What's that? You're asking what a Selcom is? Come on, guest, you come to a Selcom Shop and start asking what a Selcom is? Who are you, Kai*** Yuuzan poyoooooooo?!!!
Umm, anyway, sir! A Selcom is the ultimate in wearable technology! It's a system that places a smartphone directly in your brain poyo!
To start, valued customer, please attach this Selcom Sheet to the underside of your left upper arm poyo.
Why your left upper arm, you ask? ............
I don't know that poyoooo!! All those brilliant researchers and engineers said to stick it there poyoooo!! Don't ask me poyooooooo!!
Okay, did you stick it on poyo? How do you feel? Can you see the display inside your brain poyo? If you're one of those modern kids with a high P3 level, you should see a fresh image right away poyo.
If you can't see it at all, or if it's fuzzy and you can't see it too well, I recommend adjusting your Internal 8MS, undergo PP training, or else give it up already poyooo!
Just kidding poyo. I recommend our beginner's course called Easy PP Training for Selcom poyo! Try taking that if you suck poyo!
Now then, if you can see an image, you just need to answer some questions with your mental tablet poyo!
You can't use your mental tablet well?! For customers like you, I recommend our beginner's course called Mental Tablet Training poyo!
Were you able to fill it in poyo? Then congratulations! Welcome to the world of Selcom poyo!
Now, you can browse the whole world's internet inside your head, and send and receive messages poyo!!
And you can install whatever apps you want, from apps that can save anything you see with the naked eye as an image, to facial recognition apps, to game apps and video search apps poyo! However, running apps simultaneously will put stress on your brain, so I recommend starting slow poyooo.
Also! With your plan, you get the communication app "Keropoyo" pre-installed poyo! No matter how much you hate me, I can't be erased, so sorry about that poyo! *keeero*kero*kero*kero*!
Okonogi: "This Selcom stuff is all about dependence! It's the defeat of humanity, you fools!"
Miyao: "Here comes Okonogi's Selcom allergy again..."
Chloe: "He says that, but he's using it too. It's not fair...＞＜"
Okonogi: "The human brain is a muscle! It gets stronger the more you use it, and weaker the more dependent you are! You keep looking everything up on the net, saving it as data without trying to memorize it! Keep that up, and you'll become a Selcom human!"
Okonogi: "You Selcom brats, if your Selcom breaks down, what would you even be able to do, until you got to a Selcom Shop to get it fixed?! You'd get stuck trying to diddle yourself while you piddle yourself!! Don't let your brain slack off!! Brains are all about guts!! Learn with your brain, with your body! Muscles muscles, /
brains brains!!"
Miyao: "I don't even know what he's saying anymore..."
Chloe: "Ahahaha... But I understand what he's trying to say. A Selcom isn't something people are born with. His point is that, if we rely on it too much, then what good are we as humans...?"
Miyao: "Well, I'm not sure that's much of a problem in the AOU, where humans are born in electric incubators."
Chloe: "After all, humans are animals that can't live without clothing..."
Okonogi: "This era takes memorization too lightly! In my day, there was no Selcom! When we memorized stuff, all we had to rely on was our guts! Our multiplication tables, historical timelines, the periodic table, the value of pi! But when you learn something with guts, you'll never forget it!! I still know pi to 30 digits even without a Selcom!! 3.14159265359......"
Miyao: "Lame, he got the 11th place after the decimal wrong... And anyway, memorization is only one of the brain's powers, right? If the last generation's education system gave out grades for that one ability alone, isn't that pretty pathetic?"
The appearance of Selcom brought an end to the idea of education through memorization.
However, there were still many adults who incorrectly assumed that toiling to memorize things was the same as studying...
People who suffer have the bad habit of wanting to make the next generation suffer the same way. And in particular, people who work extremely hard for relatively little benefit tend to assume that suffering is the most essential part of training.
Older people like that must have hated Selcom technology quite a lot...
Chloe: "Selcom fundamentally destroyed the education system's purpose and significance... But I understand what the Instructor is trying to say."
Chloe: "We are humans, after all. ...I think it's wrong to take the power of life lightly."
Miyao: "...The power...of life."
Miyao: "Well, it's true that only humans can perform a Dreissig Conversion."
Chloe: "That's right. We're only able to become Gauntlet Knights because we're humans, right?"
Spiritium is the power source of this new era, extracted from the planet.
And the most efficient method of transforming it into energy...is the Dreissig Conversion.
Only humans could do that. Robots and drones couldn't.
So, the power of the Gauntlet Knights...was the power of life.
...I'm pretty sure Dad said something like that.
What do you know, that's pretty cool...
Miyao: "So, you shouldn't take the power of life lightly, huh? ...That's seriously cool, Chloe."
Chloe: "Huh? Th-Thank you very much...!"
Search suggestions activated poyo!
Miyao: "Huh? What's this? I just got a search suggestion."
Could it be that the line you're looking for is "Don't you dare take the power of life lightly!" poyo?!
Miyao: "Hmm? That sounds pretty close? Is that from something?"
It is poyo!! With 98% confidence, the source of that line has been identified as the adult women's comi-
Chloe: "Don't you dare search for stuff on your own, you shitty frooooooog, karate chooooooooop＞＜"
Miyao: "...D-Did I really do something so bad...that it deserved...two karate chops......"
Your Selcom has encountered an error poyo?! I suggest you reboot poyooo, *croak*croak*
Chloe: "...Sorry, Miyao... You only have that Outie Frog to blame. Amen."
Okonogi: "......Ch-"
Chloe: "Lo...?"
Okonogi: "Eeeeeeeeeeee!!! What do you think you're doing while someone's lecturing youuuuuuuuuuuu?!!! Time for a stunning Okonogi divine retribution spirit-raising chooooooooop!!!"
Chloe: "Aiiieeeeeeeeeeee...!!!"
 
</poem>}}
[[Category:Ciconia no Naku Koro ni]]
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